I have a confession to make: I am a professional hard-drive killer. I don't know howl do it (maybe I have multiple personalities?), but I've managed to accomplish it three -- yes three -- times in less than 2 years. Lest you think I have a lemon for a computer, I have to make another confession: Each hard drive was ensconced in a different computer. Let me explain.
Two years ago, I was merrily working away on my Gateway computer. While not state of the art, the computer was less than 2 years old. In the back of my mind, the idea of purchasing a new computer had begun germinating. When I say the back of my mind, I mean way back in the deep recesses where my mind merely toyed with the notion that at some point in oh, the next year to 18 months, I might want to start thinking about buying a new computer.
Then it happened -- or didn't happen, to be more precise. One morning I went to turn on the computer and NOTHING HAPPENED! No sounds, no lights, no display on the monitor, nothing -- nada. Like a good non-techie, I immediately called Gateway. Their technical support personnel put me (and my computer) through our paces -- No Response. The one bit of luck I did have was that the computer was still covered under my extended warranty plan. A service technician was dispatched to my home office and replaced the hard drive within a couple of days.
"Good as new," I was told. "I ain't trusting that computer again," I thought to myself. It went into the basement and became my daughters' computer; after all, it was still much more au co u rant than the computer they had been using. After all, my daughters only needed the computer to write papers for school in Word, occasionally research the Internet, and -- the bulk of the time -- use the e-mail and Instant Messaging. I figured if the computer died again, the fallout would be minimal.
I called Erik, my computer guru. Erik helped me pick out a brand-new computer, this time from Dell. Until this time, I had been a die-hard Gateway fan. My new Dell computer arrived. Erik had managed to recover some, but not all, of my files from the old Gateway. I was up and running again, more or less. I had been pretty good about backing up my files onto floppies and a Zip drive, but I wasn't completely up-to-date, since I didn't really have a solid back-up system in place. My new Dell came with my first CD-RW drive, so of course my back-up system was going to be much better in the future. In case no one ever told you, the road to hell is paved with good intentions.
Mine! Mine! Mine!
Fast-forward ahead 13 months. Same scenario. One morning I went to turn on the computer and NOTHING HAPPENED! No sounds, no lights, no display on the monitor, nothing -- nada. Again, good non-techie that I was, I immediately called Dell. Tech support put us through our paces again. The verdict this time? A dead hard drive, a bad motherboard, and the memory needed replacing, just for good measure. In other words, I had a very expensive, but useless, hard plastic box sitting on the floor under my desk. When I heard that, I wanted to fly through the phone line and throttle the person at Dell in Austin. There were two problems with that thought. One was that it's impossible to fly through the phone line.
(Which brings me to a completely unrelated question--how does one wire money? The commercials show a person making a desperate phone call asking for money, generally from a Western Union office. The person on the receiving end of the phone call, with a compassionate look on their face, goes to their local Western Union office. The next thing you know, the money is being handed to the person in need of the money. How did they push that money through the phone wires? And so quickly, too.)
The second problem was that I would have bet my bottom dollar that Dell's tech support person was not sitting anywhere near Dell's offices in Austin. Chances were that the tech support person couldn't find Austin on a map -- even with Texas as a hint. But, as usual, I digress.
Two days later, still under my extended warranty plan, I had a visit from Dell's service technician. He opened up the computer case (I couldn't bear to look) and removed and replaced the hard drive, the motherboard, and the memory. Erik, my computer guru, was on stand-by to come pick up the damaged drive and begin the data recovery process again. Yes, my back-up system had improved somewhat, but it still wasn't perfect--some data recovery was needed.
The service rep closed up the computer case and pronounced the computer as good as new, since everything of importance had been replaced. I didn't believe him, not for one little moment. Guess where that computer went? Down into the basement for my daughters as a replacement for the Gateway computer they had used for 13 months.
To add insult to injury, the technician wanted to take the damaged hard drive with him. I peppered him with questions. How could I retrieve my data from the hard drive if he took immediate possession of it? How could I erase my data from the hard drive so Dell would not receive any private (and not-so-private) data residing on the hard drive? Why couldn't I send the drive back to Dell in a week or so after I was through with it?
Apparently, I am an anomaly. Standard procedure is as follows:
1. Customer needs new hard drive.
2. Dell notifies local service rep and sends new hard drive to the service rep company via UPS.
3. Said service rep is charged by Dell for the new drive.
4. Service rep makes house call, removes old hard drive, and inserts new hard drive.
5. Service rep takes damaged drive with him and sends it back to Dell. Dell must receive it within 3 days.
6. If Dell receives the damaged drive within 3 days, the service rep receives a credit on his account, which reverses the charge for the drive.
7. If Dell does not receive the drive within 3 days, the charge stays and the rep must pay Dell for the new drive.
This procedure does not allow for any variation -- the customer is not permitted to keep the damaged drive for any length of time. If the customer wishes to keep the damaged drive, the customer must pay the service rep for the new drive. Now, am I crazy or is this policy absurd?
Many phone calls and a few hours later, Dell gave me special dispensation to keep the damaged drive for 10 days. The negotiations were long and complicated. As I recall, they had to call the Vatican to check with the Pope and required my first-born as collateral. At the end of 10 days, I was to surrender the drive to the service rep or pay for it. I agreed and the service rep left my home, looking as if the weight of the world was upon his shoulders. That rep really hated leaving without that drive!
Get S.M.A.R.T.
Data recovery wasn't as successful this time, as there had been such a meltdown. But, on the bright side, my backup system was a bit better, so except for the aggravation, there wasn't any critical damage. I ordered a new computer (decided to give Dell another try) and was -- somewhat -- on my merry way within a few days. It took a bit longer to reinstall all the software I had accumulated and to reconfigure all of the software settings.
Alright, believe it or not, we are now going forward in time only about 5-1/2 months to a slightly different scenario. Another morning, another turning on of the computer. Only this time, instead of going straight to Windows, the information paging along the screen came to a halt and a message appeared:
S.M.A.R.T. Technology -- hard drive failure imminent. Back up and replace.
A little voice whispered to me "Call Dell -- this can't be a good thing." So, listening to Jimmy Cricket, I called Dell. I was informed by someone claiming to work in Tech Support (I still have my doubts; I think he might have been the janitor) that all Dell computers were now preloaded with something wonderful called S.M.A.R.T. Technology. I never did catch what S.M.A.R.T. stood for; I was too busy worrying about my computer.
Apparentiy, S.M.A.R.T. Technology informs you when your hard drive is thinking about failing and gives you what it considers fair warning to back up your data so you can replace the hard drive. Uhuh. Like you and I and everyone we know have spare hard drives tucked in drawers some-where and we're all fully prepared to pop the top on that computer case and fling that sucker in.
Again, I went through my usual steps. I set up an appointment with Dell's local service technician to replace the hard drive and put Erik on stand-by to come and pick up the new damaged hard drive. In the meantime, as the computer remained semi-functional, I tried to back up some of my files. Those of you familiar with operating your computer in Safe Mode will know what I mean when I kindly say this was not a piece of cake. While the computer manufacturers would like you to think Safe Mode is your friend, it's really just a giant pain in the....
Coincidentally, the same service rep was assigned to my case. Prior to coming to my office he called me, apparently having remembered me from the previous visit (his mama didn't raise no fool!). He wanted to know if I was going to want to keep my hard drive again. If so, he wasn't going to come out until we had my special dispensation signed, sealed, and delivered, as he didn't want to spend hail a day watching my blood pressure rise while I argued with Dell over the phone. I told him not to worry; I'd take care of it. (I'm not even going to go into the fast talking I had to do with Dell to be allowed to keep my hard drive for the extra 10 days. I'll save that for another whole article unto itself. All I'll say is I danced as fast as my little feet could move.)
In the end, except for the aggravation, everything worked out. The hard drive was replaced, Erik did the data recovery, and Dell received the damaged hard drive within the requisite time period. This time, however, my daughters did not receive a "new" computer. Since it still wasn't fully paid for, I wasn't quite so quick to hand it off to them. I decided to keep the computer and put more effort into my back-up system.
If Only I Could Afford Them
Shortly after this third episode, I read an article in the San Francisco Chronicle about a company called DriveSavers [http://www.drivesavers.com/]. This company specializes in heavy-duty data recovery from mangled hard drives. While the company is definitely priced out of my league (which is too bad; if DriveSavers were within my price range, I could probably keep them in business), it can recover data from a hard drive even under the most dire of circumstances. According to their Web site, their customers have included (see Figure 1 below):
* Jimmy Buffet
* Clarence Clemons
* Sean Connery
* Gonzo (of Sesame Street fame)
* Isaac Hayes
* Lucas Films
* Barbara Mandrell
* Paul Reiser
* Keith Richards (who knew he could even use a computer?)
* Sting
What I found particularly interesting about the company is that it has a full-time employee whose entire job consists of counseling upset customers. Kelly Chessen has worked at DriveSavers for 2 years and her business card actually shows her title as Data Crisis Counselor. That's right: When your hard drive fails or becomes corrupted, Kelly provides the shoulder on which to cry. And, as far as she can tell, no other company offers the service she provides -- she literally is without peer.
As a bit of background, Kelly has a bachelor's degree in psychology. Prior to working for DriveSavers, she spent 3 years answering phones on a suicide crisis hotline and an additional year supervising the hotline personnel. When she heard about the opening at DriveSavers, she thought it a perfect match for her skills. Now that she's been in the job for 2 years, she feels there are similarities between the two positions, but at DriveSavers, there is less ambiguity as to the outcome of the "disaster."
Kelly generally speaks with people before they reach Technical Support. A person will call in with a computer emergency and the company operator will often sense the person's agitation and anger. Prior to connecting them to Technical Support, the operator will transfer them to Kelly to help begin the calming process. Kelly, who works a 40-hour workweek, estimates she receives two "extremely agitated" calls every hour -- that's an average of 80 people a week who need and receive data crisis counseling!
According to Kelly, it's very important to listen to the callers and
empathize with them. She remains calm and uses a calm voice to help "bring the caller down." She said she "lets the caller know she's there and mirrors back to them what they're saying to let them know she's listening." Unlike the suicide crisis hotline, there's less ambiguity as to the outcome as with DriveSavers, she has a definite, workable solution for the caller.
Is It Me?
While speaking with Kelly, I told her my tales of woe regarding my three fried hard drives. I also told her I was feeling cursed, as three failed hard drives in less than 2 years seemed absurd. In a calming voice, Kelly attempted to put my experiences into perspective for me. "Just a few years ago," she said, "computer manufacturers were offering a 3-year warranty on hard drives. Today most hard drive warranties are only 1 year. Obviously, the computer manufacturers feel today's hard drives have about a 1-year life expeqtancy." And here I thought my problems were due to bad feng shui in my office.
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